Never Alone, Even Apart
by hmweasley
Summary: (Druck/Skam Germany) David has to film a movie in Paris, leaving Matteo back in Berlin.


**A/N: This was written for evakuality (Tumblr username) as part of the Druck Fandom Gift Exchange over on Tumblr.**

* * *

Matteo's heart raced as he clicked the button that allowed David's face to appear across his computer screen. His face broke out in a smile that was mirrored on David's own.

Though David's face was a little blurry thanks to some spotty hotel WiFi, Matteo didn't notice as his mind happily brought it into focus. David was as gorgeous as ever.

"Hi," Matteo breathed, feeling out of breath just from seeing his boyfriend's face in a box on a computer screen.

"Hi," David echoed.

Matteo heard the love in David's voice, and it made his heart skip a beat. They'd been messaging each other constantly since David had left for Paris, and they'd been consistent about their weekly video calls, but that didn't mean that seeing David's face each time was any less powerful. It still took Matteo's breath away. An instinctive reaction that was quickly followed by the painful reminder that David wouldn't be home for another two months. In the meantime, video calls were all they had.

"How's the movie going?" Matteo asked, settling against his pillows.

They'd set records with their calls, often talking until they were forced apart by work or annoyed roommates. Matteo knew he had to be in a comfortable position if he was going to make it through the call without feeling it afterward.

"Good," David replied forcefully. "This film is going to be incredible, Matteo."

He shook his head as if he were still processing just how good it would be.

"That last film I worked on in Berlin… It was mostly just a job, you know? A way to get my foot in the door and learn the basics. But I believe in this one. We're making something great, something that will mean a lot to people."

The smile on his face wasn't as large as it had been when he'd been beaming a minute before, but it was no less powerful. Matteo rested the back of his head against the wall, staring at David with a grin of his own.

He'd heard all of this several times already, but he couldn't have cared less. Each time David told the story, the wonder in his voice made hearing it again worth it. It was a reminder of why Matteo was only a little bothered that David had gone off to Paris for three months, leaving him behind in Berlin.

"I'm glad it's going well," Matteo said quietly once David had exhausted himself with all of his gushing.

David gave him his full attention, his smile once again shifting to his Matteo smile, the one that made Matteo's heart skip a beat when he saw it. Unfortunately, the smile grew sad a second later as David tilted his head to the side.

"I miss you."

He said it so quietly that Matteo hardly heard it through his earbuds. His own smile froze as he watched David grow somber, and Matteo wished he could take away whatever said thoughts David was having. He wanted nothing more than to return to the happy David from a moment before.

"I miss you too," Matteo said, stressing the words to make sure David knew how much he meant them. "But we'll see each other next week."

David's smile widened, even as he continued to blink as if he were fighting tears that Matteo couldn't see. Matteo's own eyes stung at the thought.

"True," David said. He let out a short, strangled laugh. "I'm so glad you're visiting next month. There's so much here that I want you to see."

"That's cool I guess," Matteo said, his smile morphing into a smirk, "but the only thing I'm interested in seeing is you."

David froze. Even through the blurry webcam video, Matteo could see David's pupils widening, a smirk slowly forming on his face.

"Well, that's good then," he said, his voice lower than it had been moments before, which made Matteo twist the blanket he was gripping in his hands. "Because I don't actually know that many places. Most of my time has been spent at work, and when I'm not working, all I'm thinking about is seeing you again."

"Don't say that," Matteo whined despite his smile. "You should be having fun. When will you get a chance to live in Paris again?"

David shrugged, seemingly uninterested in the opportunity.

"Maybe it will feel more exciting when you're here too," he said.

"Just a few more weeks," Matteo muttered, mostly to himself. Raising his voice, he added, "I've already packed."

David let out a short, disbelieving snort.

"Really?" he asked, leaning closer to the webcam as if he'd be able to see the packed bag that was on the bedroom floor out of the camera's view.

Matteo shrugged, averting his eyes as his cheeks warmed. After he'd said it, he realized it might be a little too eager to have packed weeks before he was set to leave, but of course, David was smiling warmly at him when he finally looked back at the computer screen.

"Just another few weeks," David said quietly, and despite the webcams, the intensity of David's gaze made it feel like they were looking directly at each other.

He smiled and, overcome with a rush of emotion, grabbed one of the pillows off his bed, gripping it in his arms the way he wished he could hold David.

* * *

Time passed slowly while David was in Paris. Matteo continued his routine as best he could: going to work, seeing his friends, etc. The constant messages sent back and forth between him and David helped too, even if they were no replacement for David's body pressed against his.

David had been gone for two months by the time Matteo boarded the train to Paris, his days off work lining up with a slight (relatively speaking) lull in David's work on the production he was part of.

During the several days he was in Paris, Matteo didn't see David as much as he would have liked, though such a thing would have been all but impossible. David still had to go to work every day, his hours as odd as they'd been on the film he'd worked on in Berlin.

On their last day together, David took him to a restaurant that was so nice Matteo nearly cried when he realized where they were going. He felt like an outsider in such a place, and he knew David did too, but they didn't let that stop them as they giggled together over their too expensive food and the cheapest bottle of wine that had been on the menu.

"I don't want to leave," Matteo admitted over dessert. "Especially to go back to that stupid job that I hate."

David had been in the middle of laughing at a joke they'd shared, but his smile fell immediately. Reaching out, he took Matteo's hand and rubbed his thumb over the back of it.

"I hate that you hate your job so much," he said, giving Matteo's hand a squeeze that emphasized his words.

Matteo snorted and fell back against his chair, keeping his hand in David's.

"What can I do about it?" he asked with a shrug. "There's nothing I want to do with my life. All I'm going to do is work pointless job after pointless job."

David played with Matteo's fingers for a few moments before responding.

"Is that true?" he asked cautiously. "There's nothing you can imagine doing that would make you happy at least a fraction of how much filmmaking does me?"

Matteo pressed his back harder into the chair and pulled his hand from David's to start fiddling with his napkin instead. He didn't like conversations that reminded him of the turmoil he was constantly trying to quiet in his head.

There were so many thoughts that he could have voiced out loud, but none of them were ones he was particularly eager to share. He could hardly make sense of them himself; there was no telling what someone else—even David—might think. He pushed aside his fears about how it would sound, though, and forced the words out.

"Honestly, when I dream about the future, the only thing I dream about is having a family. With you."

He kept his eyes on the table, only seeing David shift in his chair in the fringes of his vision. He was sure he'd fucked up and said too much. In the year they'd been dating, it had become clear that they both expected their relationship to last a long time—hopefully forever—but marriage wasn't something they'd discussed, let alone having children.

It was too soon to bring it up, and Matteo knew that. But it was also the only honest answer he had if David wanted to know about his feelings on the future.

"Do you—" David cleared his throat. "Do you mean that you want to be, like, a stay-at-home dad? Like, take care of your—our—kids all day."

Matteo shrugged, tapping his fork against the tabletop.

"I guess," he replied slowly. "I hadn't thought that much about it. All I mean is that when I dream about our future, it's always about kids and stuff. I don't think about jobs or anything like that. Being a stay-at-home dad would be…" He turned over possible words to describe the idea. "Nice, I think, but I hadn't really thought about it."

Why that was, he wasn't sure. Perhaps it hadn't felt like an option, especially with the pressure he'd felt to find a job since finishing school and the fact that he and David hadn't yet discussed having kids, making it a distant possibility if it was one at all.

David's hand found his again, making him drop the fork. Matteo watched their fingers link together before chancing a look at David's face. His body relaxed at the gentle look on his boyfriend's face. He had no idea why he'd been worried that David would judge him for his confession; such fears suddenly seemed ridiculous.

"It's a nice idea," David said, receiving a smile from Matteo in response.

Still, despite the warmth spreading inside of Matteo, some of his insecurities lingered.

"Really?" he asked. "You wouldn't think I was being a… I don't know. A mooch or something?"

David scoffed.

"No, definitely not," he said, his tone leaving no room for argument. "Right now I definitely don't make enough for both us and any kids we have to live off of, so it obviously has to be a dream, but…"

He pressed his lips together even as his smile widened, almost as if he needed to hide how happy he felt.

"It's a nice dream," he finished softly. "I like it."

Matteo let out an embarrassingly high-pitched laugh in response, and he and David quickly moved to easier topics, soaking in each other's presence for as long as they had left.

* * *

David and Matteo fell into bed clumsily, their arms wrapped around each other. The final weeks of David's job had stretched on longer than those in the beginning, and now that he was back in Berlin, Matteo had no intention of letting go of him anytime soon.

The sheets were cool against Matteo's skin, and he took it as an excuse to press himself further into David's side, burying his face in his neck.

He'd forgotten how comforting it was to be enveloped in his boyfriend. It was almost as if they hadn't spent anytime apart at all. All Matteo could think about was David, who laughed as Matteo's breath tickled his neck.

David shifted so they were face-to-face, their arms still around each other. He brushed a strand of hair from Matteo's eyes, and Matteo's heart skipped a beat.

"I'm never leaving Berlin again," David pledged quietly. "Not without you."

Matteo snorted even as his insides turned to mush.

"Sure," he said with a roll of his eyes. "Easy to say now. But you'll get another job and go. It's fine."

"No," David whined, tugging Matteo impossibly closer. "I mean it. It was terrible, Matteo. I don't care about the movie."

Matteo snorted again, earning himself a pinch in the side that morphed into a play fight before either of them could stop. Twenty seconds later, they collapsed back onto the bed, David's head on Matteo's chest.

Matteo started at the ceiling, finding the strength to say words he couldn't have said while looking David in the eye.

"I don't want you to hold yourself back because of me."

It was quiet for a second before David propped himself up on one arm. He stared down at Matteo, who felt as if all of his insecurities were on display. David cupped Matteo's cheek and ran his thumb across his cheekbone.

"You'll never do that."

His voice was quiet yet firm as he looked down at Matteo, who believed him wholeheartedly. He was suddenly unable to understand why he'd thought otherwise.

He tightened his arms around David's waist before answering.

"When you do work that makes you happy, it makes me happy too."

David leaned down to kiss him with a smile.

"Okay," he said as he pulled away. "But if there's a next time, I'm bringing you with me."

And that was one thing Matteo couldn't disagree with.


End file.
